Subscribe to RSS feed Follow citizen of the planet on Twitter Visit citizen of the planet's Facebook page Visit citizen of the planet's last.fm page Visit citizen of the planet's LinkedIn page

Tag Archive: weight

Completing the picture

Categories:

health

Thu. January 5, 2012

Generally I haven’t had much need to go visit my doctor. Back when I was living with my parents in the northeast corner of the city I could probably count the number of times I visited my doctor on a single hand. For whatever reason I never really bonded well with him. It was a walk-in clinic so often the waits to go see him felt interminable. I only went there when I needed a referral to a dermatologist, or when I had a bad case of bronchitis. Anyway, when I finally moved out on my own I had intentions of finding a new doctor. Those plans eventually fell by the wayside. Every now and then my mother would urge me to go see a doctor. I would tell her that I would, but nothing ever happened. She even gave me a contact for a local doctor from someone that she knows at her gym. I held the card for a while with plans to call in, but I didn’t get around to it. Months passed. Well, finally, now that I’ve turned 30 I figured that it was time to get off my ass and make an appointment.

I went in this afternoon not sure what to expect. I only went in for a basic checkup. As part of the process he started probing my abdomen. He asked if I recently gained weight. BAH. See, this is interesting to me. Perhaps he made the comment because I do have a fair bit of undertone such I would seem fit otherwise? Eeeeehhhh. Maybe I’m just trying to find reasons. The doctor also checked my blood pressure. He told me that it was a bit high. Agh! He said that it may just be because it was my first time visiting a new doctor so he wanted to check again in a month. Fine. So, now I’ve got some goals to fight for. First, I need to get my weight back down. Well, maybe that’s not clear…I need to lose inches and burn fat. If I gain weight because of muscle, then that’s fine. Second, I need to work to get my blood pressure down. There’s a bit of history with regards to blood pressure issues in my family, so I have to be on top of all that. Once I get back into running I’m sure that will help to get my numbers under control. I’ve already got a lot of the pieces of the puzzle in place. I just need to complete the picture, know what I mean?

Tags: blood pressure, doctor, weight

Leave comment

It’s not defining

Categories:

fit?,
vanity

Wed. December 28, 2011

Over the past while I’ve been kind of assessing my body image. Yeah yeah, it’s been ongoing. With CrossFit I’ve been steadily gaining weight. Certainly a lot of it is muscle weight, but not all. A lot more of the clothing I wore back during marathon training doesn’t fit any more. My size was a little unnatural back then. Now, I think I’ve got a better look going–better proportions. Thing is, mentally the fact that I’ve been needing bigger clothes has made me a bit nutty. I worked hard to get away from where I was 2-3 years ago. The situation is different now though. I need bigger pants again, but I’m not as fat as I was before. God knows, I’m a lot fitter. It’s taken me a while, but it almost feels like I’m finally moving past whatever psychological block I’ve had.

Weight is not defining.
Pant-size is not defining.

Why should I be hard on myself if I can’t fit into size 33 pants that I used to be able to wear for a very brief period in 2010? It doesn’t make sense. Like I said a while ago, I’m the best me that I can be at this very moment. As long as I continue to work hard I know that I have nothing to regret.

Tags: clothing, CrossFit, weight

Leave comment

Finding my way to a better state

Categories:

Sun. August 21, 2011

Well, anyone who knows me knows that my battle with weight is a bit of an ongoing theme. Since I can remember I’ve been a little heavier than average. By the end of university it kind of ballooned to a rather bad point. From then I’ve battled my way back down. The year 2010 was a great year for weight loss. It’s like everything clicked, and I eventually go down to about 172 lbs. or so. That was about October 2010. The loss was long and slow, so I knew that I wouldn’t yo-yo back to where I once was. I did figure though that things would equalize, and they did. At this time I’m at about 183 or so. Not that bad, but there’s a part of me that’s looking at what I had achieved months ago and wishing that I had somehow held onto that. It’s been my goal to sort of claw my way back down. It’s been tough. I mean, there have been little things that have sort of affected my mind state with regards to all this. For example, there are about 2 shirts that I used to be able to wear at my slimmest that I can no longer button up. Same with two pairs of pants. I have a few suits. One is far too big. The others are slightly snug since I bought them when I was lighter. I’m sort of stuck in a limbo state. This is all piling up making me want to find a way to reach my goals in a more definite state. It’s slightly obsessive, but that’s where I’m at.

It’s kind of interesting in that despite gaining a little weight I don’t consider myself to be unhealthy in the least. I still run. I still coach. My resting heart rate is still awesomely low. I’m just carrying extra weight–either in my belly or in muscle. Probably both, right? Anyway, this morning I was asking some people I was running with if it looked like I was packing on the pounds. They told me that I didn’t really look it. One chimed in that I’m just muscular. In my mind I call it being boxy. I said that some clothes no longer fit. That’s when one replied that she thought that I looked far too thin at one point back when I was at my lowest. Interesting. Did I consider that before? Even at my lowest there were still “improvements” that I was hoping for. However, was I carrying it a bit far? I do remember my mom complaining that my face looked a little gaunt at one point. She wanted me to gain weight to fill things in. I kind of brushed it off. Now it seems like she wasn’t the only one that thought it was a bit much. How many more people are out there that thought the same thing but didn’t tell me? I don’t know.

So yeah, it’s a tough balance to strike. Perhaps this is my ideal equilibrium point. Maybe I’m just designed to be a little bigger. I think even if I stay the same weight if I lose fat and gain muscle I’d feel just fine. I need to figure out where I need to be. Those two suits that are slightly snug are needed for this weekend since I’m heading to a wedding. Do I need to work hard and lose a bit to make them fit better in the span of one week? That can’t possibly be healthy. Can I just be happy? Hmm. I really need to work on accepting myself while finding ways to better my state. I know, I know. I’m a mess of goals and thoughts. Ultimately I want to find myself in a state where this is no longer an issue. I don’t know what that means other than I’d be free of all of these crippling thoughts and ideals. It’s tough, but I’ll find.

Tags: clothing, weight

Leave comment

Making the pants fit

Categories:

health,
vanity

Mon. August 15, 2011

Hmm. I am going to a wedding in less than two weeks. My suit’s pants are a little bit tight. I think I might have to eat lightly over the next while. Man, how do people that do this all the time function? I mean, I cut calories but I still manage to eat somewhat normally. Fasting might do me good. Should help to reset things. Gah!

Tags: clothing, weight

Leave comment

Freshly baked pandesal

Categories:

foodstuffs,
photos

Sun. August 14, 2011

In all honesty, there’s a part of me that wonders how the hell my weight hasn’t ballooned out of control. I like baking far too much to not making it a part of what I do. I make a lot of awesome stuff. The problem that follows though is me figuring out just when the heck to do with all of the food. ”Eat it” is definitely an option, but it’s rather risky. Taking that approach might mean that what I made will dominate my food intake for many days to come. That risk is multiplied by a little bit of impatience such that I may just want to eat it all quickly just so that I won’t end up eating it for days to come. See! Bad! Ah, but like I said, I won’t let it stop me from baking. Hell, I’m excited about that George Brown course to come.

So yeah, what’s pictured above? Those are some freshly baked rolls of pandesal. I kind of love the stuff. It’s available from many Filipino food stores but those bagged things just can’t compare to some freshly baked rolls. It’s got a nice crust with a soft chewy centre that’s a little sweet. Add a little butter or margarine and this stuff is insanely good. I saw a recipe for it in my mother’s cookbook. The instructions are handwritten. I photocopied the page when I was visiting their place. I had full intentions of trying out the recipe. This weekend I finally got off my butt to do it. I didn’t have any yeast, so I actually drove over to Walmart at 7 a.m. to get some. I wanted an early start. To my surprise, the assembly was pretty quick. The process of kneading and rising wasn’t tough either. It all just takes some patience. I eventually ended up with what you see above. I tried one of the smaller buns to see if it was worth sharing with other people. It was really tasty, so I ended up trying out another to be sure that I wasn’t imagining things. Eventually I downed a third for good measure. See! Baaaaaaaaad! These rolls definitely trump the store bought stuff.

Trust me: there will be a next time for this. It was simple enough that I could make these on a weekend morning as a project. I think next time I will try adding more sugar. I already increased the sweetness, but I think it could use a little more. Instead of just water, I want to try using some evaporated milk. Through a few more iterations I’ll get this recipe tight enough such that my bread will be well known, yeah? Hahah. First things first though. I need to eat/give away all of these existing ones. Blaaaargh.

Tags: baking, Filipino, weight

Leave comment